To the nines

Thanking God for You Friday Five

2008-11-28T15:34:00.002-05:00

"Every time I think of you I give thanks to my God." Phillipians 1:3

The assignment: five folks I'm thankful for this Friday after Thanksgiving Day. Hmmm... Well, I never was very good at coloring inside the lines. I'm going for groups.

1. I'm thankful for my family, individually and as a conglomerate (if you knew my family, this would be clear.) My family is a haven of grace and a constant reminder of the need to offer grace. My family is a web of support and a reminder that spiders use their webs to catch their prey. My family is warm cocoa, cold beer, and hot tamales. And for that, I'm thankful.

2. I'm thankful for my church family, individually and as a congregation. I'm blessed with people who love me, challenge me, infuriate me, frustrate me, pray for me, laugh with me (and I suspect on occasion at me) and despite everything continue to show up for worship and every now and then even listen to me. And for that, I'm thankful.

3. I'm thankful for every single child God places in my path because there is just no way to hurry through an encounter with a child. And for that, I'm thankful.

4. I'm thankful for my colleagues in ministry, every single one, especially the ones who drive me nuts with their inability to commit, their indecisive wiffle-waffling, and their absolute assurance that surely tomorrow will bring more clarity than we possess today. I know. It's an odd way to express gratitude. But in and through these folks, I have learned quiet perseverance and have experienced the mysterious and inclusive nature of God's grace. And for that, I'm thankful.

5. Finally, I'm thankful for anyone, human or otherwise, who makes me laugh. So I need to lift up my dog. No one makes me laugh like Sam, though I've got to admit, my husband runs a close second.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Mix and Stir Friday Five

2008-11-21T06:36:00.002-05:00

In a minor domestic crisis, my food processor, or more precisely the part you use for almost everything for which I use a food processor, picked the eve of the festive season of the year to give up the ghost. A crack in the lid expanded such that a batch of squash soup had to be liberated via that column shaped thing that sticks up on top.

Can you tell this is not my area of strength?

Next week, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. I need your help. Please answer the following kitchen-related questions:

1) Do you have a food processor? Can you recommend it? Which is to say, do you actually use it?
I do have a food processor, two actually - one of the monster sit-on-the-counter-and-look-intimidating types and one of the little outboard motor jobs that is actually useful. As you may be able to tell, I use the outboard motor job all the time--the monster, not so much.

2) And if so, do you use the fancy things on it? (Mine came with a mini-blender (used a lot and long ago broken) and these scary disks you used to julienne things (used once).)
The outboard motor job has a number of different functions and tools, including a mini-blender, a tiny little traditional food processor container, and a hand chopper. I use them all. The mini-blender is great if you want to redecorate your kitchen in chocolate milkshake.

3) Do you use a standing mixer? Or one of the hand-held varieties?
My KitchenAid standing mixer is my friend. I love her. Wish I had time to spend more time with her. Mine is white - the only color they were making then, but yes, the powder blue is gorgeous. The new pumpkin orange color - not so much.

4) How about a blender? Do you have one? Use it much?
Yes, I've got a blender. No, I don't use it very often. Ever since the whole SNL Bass-o-matic thing, I've hesitated to bring the blender out of the cupboard. Last time I used it, it was to blend up paper into pulp for my youth group to make parchment. The parchment turned out beautifully, the blender, not so much.

5) Finally, what old-fashioned, non-electric kitchen tool do you enjoy using the most?
I love my rolling pin. It makes me feel like a cook. And best of all, when I'm wielding it, no one ever disagrees with me.

Bonus: Is there a kitchen appliance or utensil you ONLY use at Thanksgiving or some other holiday? If so, what is it?
It's not actually an appliance, but I have this insulated gravy boat. I saw it online and ordered it immediately. It was advertised as stainless steel, fit for any holiday table. It's actually shiny metal-painted plastic and it is the tackiest, ugliest, lowest-rent thing ever, guaranteed to give Martha Stewart fits. But, the gravy stays hot. All in all, what's not to love?!?

The Importance of Not Being Earnest

2008-11-14T09:41:00.002-05:00

The definition of earnest: seriousness, industriousness, ardent and zealous in pursuit of a goal. To which I might add that the earnest seem to evince a decided unwillingness to goof off, enjoy themselves, or have a mighty giggle every now and then.

Maybe it's just me (which is of course the classic female cop-out, right?) but doesn't it seem like all of us (especially those of us who make our livings in the church) are way too serious these days? What every happened to the all-out goof-off, mental health, do-whatever-I-want-with-whomever-I want day?

Here's my plan for the revitalization of the church: for every one business meeting we are forced to suffer through for the good of the "body," we are required to have two fellowship events where no "body" is asked to give, perform, speak, or cook. All that's required is to show up with a light spirit - and have fun. Take-out pizza and beer optional, but highly recommended!

An "Auld Lang Syne" Friday Five

2007-12-28T07:20:00.001-05:00

Five memorable moments? Hmmm................ The good, the bad, the ugly -- Let's start with the ugly:)

1. Being stuck in the Newark airport for 5 days last January. Hard to find an up-side to that. Still - I did manage to complete all the reading I had been putting off for 6 months.

2. Launching a dear friend and colleague in ministry into a new career - the one God has been calling him to for years. I know that's life in the church - saying goodbye and all that - and it was a glorious moment of God's grace. Still - I miss him, my family misses him, my church misses him.

3. Watching a man I thought of as a friend stand up in a congregational meeting and shake his finger in my face and call me names. I know his life is falling apart and I understand doing crazy things when one is under a lot of stress. Still - definitely a moment I hope never to have again.

4. Breaking my ankle two weeks before moving into a new home. Never broke a bone before. Never want to do it again. Still - a humbling experience all things considered and an opportunity to reflect on the goodness of those who love me. Anyone who could have loved me on crutches must be very good.

5. Moving into a new home with my husband, my son, my mom and two dogs - six weeks before Christmas. See number 3 above concerning crazy levels of stress. Still - it feels right.

Bonus question - a transparent liminal moment of God's grace.
A young woman in my church shared her college application essay with me a day or two ago. Her family has crashed and burned in the last couple of years and it has taken its toll on her - eating disorder, cutting, depression and anxiety. But she has come out the other end of the tunnel and is stronger and more beautiful than ever. In her essay, she writes that growing up is learning that no one escapes tragedy forever as much as we might hope to. She claims her tragedy for her own and lifts it up as an example of God's grace. In her tragedy, she found God's love and mercy and forgiveness through the faith that her church held for her when she could not find her own. In a year that otherwise could pass into history unmourned, I'll take that. It makes the rest of the garbage more than worthwhile.

Happy New Year to all - and to all - God's grace and mercy in 2008.

Friday Five - Top Chef Edition

2007-10-19T08:50:00.000-04:00

If you were a food, what would you be? A terrific loaf of crusty dense warm french bread - crunchy and a little sharp on the outside, warm, flavorful and satisfying on the inside, and perhaps on occasion capable of contributing positively to the quality of life:)

What is one of the most memorable meals you ever had? And where?
My husband and I ate at the most wonderful oldtime San Francisco restaurant on our honeymoon about a hundred years ago. (I was a child bride - which accounts for the fact that I've been married a hundred years and I'm still so young.) We ate vichysoisse, prime rib, and cheesecake attended by a wine steward who was the twin brother of the little guy on Fantasy Island.

What is your favorite comfort food from childhood?
Tuna casserole. The sure cure for a lousy day at the pop stand.

When going to a church potluck, what one recipe from your kitchen is sure to be a hit?
When you are a female pastor, church potlucks constitute a wonderful opportunity to affirm the gifts of others. And to get a night off from the kitchen.

What's the strangest thing you ever willingly ate?
Tripe - hands down. I didn't swallow it, though.

Bonus question: What’s your favorite drink to order when looking forward to a great meal?
A great glass of merlot - even the color is mouthwatering.

Friday Five - Fall edition

2007-08-31T09:23:00.000-04:00

1. Share a highlight from this summer. (If you please, don't just say "our vacation to the Canadian Rockies." Give us a little detail or image. Help us live vicariously through you!)
This summer had relatively few highlights - a long and difficult one with a lot of family issues competing with major staffing changes and the ever-popular "let's move the pulpit" church controversy. However, we welcomed nearly 150 children to Vacation Bible School this summer - 2/3 of whom were neighborhood kids, not member kids. That was great!

2. Are you glad to see this summer end? Why or why not?
You bet - for all of the above reasons.

3. Name one or two things you're looking forward to this fall.
I leave on vacation next week for three glorious weeks without e-mail, phone or television.

4. Do you have any special preparations or activities to mark the transition from one season to another? (Cleaning of house, putting away summer clothes, one last trip to the beach)
Would that I had time or energy or motivation to clean my house. It could use it.

5. I'll know that fall is really here when the New Jersey sky is blue and stays blue.

Friday Five: Woo-hoo VBS is OVER!!

2007-07-13T07:42:00.000-04:00

Option 2: Please Mommy, Anything But Those Blankety-Blank Books!

And we do mean anything:

1. Former U.S. First Lady "Lady Bird" Johnson died this week. In honor of her love of the land and the environment, share your favorite flower or wildflower.

I'm a big fan of dandelions. Think of it! What a perfect flower! You can eat it - always a plus. You don't have to plant it, water it, tend it, spray it, talk to it - it grows all by itself whether you want it to or not. And you can't kill it no matter how hard you try. And...my two-year old next door neighbor thinks my lawn is the best one in the whole neighborhood. What's not to love?

2. A man flew almost 200 miles in a lawn chair, held aloft by helium balloons. Share something zany you'd like to try someday.

It's the end of Vacation Bible School week. I'd settle for sitting in one place in a lawn chair for 2o0 minutes.

3. Do you have an iPhone? If not, would you want one?

No. Steve Jobs has enough money. I know. I used to - in another life - live next door to him.

4. Speaking of which, Blendtec Blenders put an iPhone in one of their super-duper blenders as part of their "Will It Blend?" series. What would YOU like to see ground up, whizzed up or otherwise pulverized in a blender?

My Properties Committee. 'Nuff said.

5. According to News of the Weird, a jury in Weld County, Colo., declined to hold Kathleen Ensz accountable for leaving a flier containing her dog's droppings on the doorstep of U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave, apparently agreeing with Ensz that she was merely exercising free speech. What do you think? Is doggy doo-doo protected by the First Amendment?

Well, I'm not a lawyer. However, I did stay at Holiday Inn Express last night so...I do believe that doggy doo-doo is protected by the First Amendment. People doo-doo is - and people actually mean to "doo-doo" on each other. Of course, I do take exception with involving a totally benign and loving species (that would be dogs) in any kind of people doo-doo. Next time, Ms. Ensz might use her own doo-doo, instead.
Did I mention it was the end of Vacation Bible School Week??????

Friday Five

2007-06-29T16:20:00.000-04:00

1. Personality tests; love them or hate them?
Love/hate.....isn't it weird how one day one is an introvert and the next day one is an extrovert? or maybe it's the whole multiple personalities thing.

2. Would you describe yourself as practical, creative, intellectual or a mixture ?
Painfully practical, insanely intellectual, kookily creative - can I be all three?

3. It is said that everyone has their 15 minutes of fame; have you had your yet? If so what was it, if not dream away what would you like it to be?
No thanks - I gave mine to Paris Hilton, poor thing.
4. If you were given a 2 year sabatical ( oh the dream of it) to create something would it be music, literature, art.....something completely different...share your dream with us...
I'd plant - and tend - the most beautiful organic garden in the world - and I'd grow the best tomatoes ever. Now I just plant - the tending thing gets away from me.

5. Describe a talent you would like to develop, but that seems completely beyond you.
I'd love to play the piano. Woulda, coulda, shoulda a long time ago.

Bonus question: Back to the church- what does every member ministry mean to you? Is it truly possible to encourage/ implement?
Every member ministry - a safe place where everyone feels OK offering his/her gifts to the Lord. A dear friend used to say she wasn't a minister - she just made coffee. Of course, while she was pouring - she helped to mend a lot of broken hearts. My dream for ministry is that coffee pourers would be first in the kingdom of heaven.

It's Sunday again

2007-06-10T15:28:00.001-04:00

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Luke 7:11-17

“I say to you – RISE!”

The woman was drowning in death. It was as if the waters were closing over her head. Death was everywhere, all around, on all sides, smothering her. As she walked through the gates of the town, following the coffin of her only son, death was her only reality. She couldn’t think, couldn’t talk, couldn’t even breathe. If it had not been for her friends in the crowd, she did not believe she could have even put one foot in front of the other.

She had lost her husband a few years before, and that had been bad enough. A woman without a husband was a woman without hope. But as she followed her husband’s coffin through the gates of the town, she had given thanks to God that God had given her a son, a good son, a son who loved his mother and knew his duty to her. Her son had taken her home with him that day and given her the place of honor at his table. She had believed that, even though her husband was gone, she would survive. She had a son.

But now, there was only death. Her son’s wife had told her that morning that she and the children were moving home to live with her parents – there was no room in their home for her. She had no home now, no one to support her, no one to care for her, no one to care at all.

The strange thing was that on that day, and in that place, it didn’t even seem to matter. The presence of death was all there was – and she, she was drowning in it.

So deep was she in her sorrow and pain that she was nearly on top of the bearers before she realized that everything had stopped, that a hush had fallen over the crowd. “What now?” she thought. “Please, can’t we just get this over with? I cannot bear any more.”

But still the crowd was silent.

And then she felt a hand touch her cheek. She looked up, into the eyes of a stranger – a stranger whom she felt she had known her whole life. It was as if she were looking into a mirror, for in his eyes, she saw her own eyes, twisted with sorrow and grief, drowning in the presence of death.

“Do not weep,” he said.

And he turned to where her son lay on the bier and he touched him and spoke. “Young man, I say to you, rise!”

That’s where the story gets a little dicey for most of us, as it did even for those who stood around the gate of the town that day so long ago. Because of course Luke tells us that as Jesus touched the body and spoke, the young man who was dead sat up and began to speak and Jesus took him and gave him back to his mother.

Now, maybe we can believe that a good and loving God looks with compassion upon our sorrow. Maybe we can understand that Jesus, the teacher and preacher, took seriously the command of God to care for the widow and the orphan first, to wipe the tears of those who grieve, first. Maybe we can accept that Jesus, man of God that he was, could not, in fact, pass by the grief of the widow without acknowledging her and speaking to her and attempting to comfort her. Maybe we can even agree that in some fashion or other Jesus was able to help her that day, as even we would want to help her or anyone who was suffering such terrible grief.

But when it comes to this picture of the young man rising up from death at the sound of Jesus’ voice and the touch of Jesus’ hand, well, that’s where we and the witness of Scripture tend to part company.

It doesn’t happen that way in the real world, the world of our experience, the world which you and I know. People do die, no matter how much we wish it were not so. Too many of us have prayed until we could pray no more that some one we love would be delivered from death, only to have our loved one die anyway. Too many of us have walked through the valley of the shadow of death – and feared mightily. Death is the reality with which we live, day to day. Dying is the context for our living.

And our Scriptures know that. Anyone who thinks that the faith of Abraham and Isaac, of Mary and Mary Magdalene, is an escape from the reality of death in which we are drowning has just not read the Bible.

Nearly every page of our Book attests to the power of death. It was the power of death that stalked the Israelites in the desert, turning them against their leaders and their God. It was the power of death that sent the Hebrew people looking for salvation in all the wrong places. It was the power of death that brought Peter to deny his Savior and the disciples to flee and hide. It was the power of death itself that followed Jesus from Nazareth to Galilee to Jerusalem to the cross on Golgotha Hill and beyond.

And so we are willing to follow Jesus to the widow’s side, we are willing to weep with her and hold out the hand of comfort, we are willing to walk behind the casket in the crowd, but when Jesus whispers “Do not weep,” when Jesus touches the body, “Young man, I say to you, rise,” well, we say, that was then, and this is now – and things don’t seem to work that way anymore. We know the power of death. We have been to Golgotha Hill and beyond.

But, my friends, the Christian witness is that Golgotha and beyond are just exactly where God is most powerfully at work. Golgotha and beyond are just exactly where the power of death ended, once and for all. On Easter morning, in a cemetery, a place dedicated to death, the God of life said no to death, raising his Son Jesus from the dead and breaking the power of death once and for all.

Yes, we were there when they crucified our Lord – we know the power that death has to destroy all that we hold dear. But we were there, too, when the stone was rolled away from the tomb and once we have looked upon that empty grave, nothing is ever the same.

If you believe in it, the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead changes everything. No longer can we look upon our lives and our eventual deaths with the limited perspective of those who live under death’s power. If you believe in it, the resurrection changes everything – reinterpreting our past in the light of God’s faithful love, freeing us to live in the present, blessed and empowered by the Holy Spirit, and granting to us hope, life-giving, life-transforming hope for the future that God holds in the palm of his hand.

In the light of the resurrection, we stand in amazement and awe, suddenly realizing that there is more to this world of ours than what we can see with our eyes, touch with our hands, or dream with our imaginations. All our carefully laid-out categories, our certainty that we know the way things work, our ability to put boundaries and limits around what God can and can’t do, all that disappears in the light of the resurrection.

In the light of the resurrection, God’s people suddenly see what before was hidden to their eyes. The crowd around the widow that day saw only a prophet at work. In the light of the resurrection, the gospel writers knew that it was God who had been present in Nain, God himself who had touched the widow’s son and renewed his life.

In the light of the resurrection, we, too, can see God present in the midst of so much death. We can look and see God kneeling in the dirt to touch a starving child, God walking among the crowd at a funeral, God with the homeless in the cardboard boxes and on the steam grates, God touching the wounded and the weeping, the dying and the dead.

In the light of resurrection, we can see what is really true, that death, although powerful and always present, is not the ultimate power in the universe. God is. In the light of the resurrection, we can see the reality that what we call reality hides from our view – the gift of the life of God where before there was only death.

It’s never OK to tell someone who is sick or dying, someone who grieves for a loved one, someone who is in pain, to “buck up, bucko, God has it in his hands – and you have no reason to weep.” Of course, there are reasons to weep – loads of them.

It’s never OK to pretend that faith is an antidote to grief, that somehow belief is an insurance policy against the sorrow that comes to us all. The Bible certainly doesn’t make any of those claims. Grief is real and hard. The widow of Nain wept real tears as she followed her son’s bier.

But that’s why we live the resurrection out in plain view for all to see – now, before the hard times come. That’s why we witness to God’s gift of life now in the midst of the death that surrounds us.

That’s why we eat from the table of our Lord and remember his death – and the gift of life given through his body and his blood. That’s why we share the food from our table with our neighbors, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, housing the homeless. That’s why we live together and work together and play together in Christian love.

Every time we reject the harsh word and seek instead the good of our neighbor, we’re living the resurrection in plain view, witnessing to the presence and power of the love of Jesus Christ in the middle of the messiness of life. Every time we look for the better way, the way of love and understanding, of patience and forbearance, we are living the resurrection in plain view for all to see, pointing to God’s presence in the midst of death.

It’s not all that difficult, this witnessing to life in Jesus Christ, to God’s live-giving presence amidst the pain and suffering that surrounds us – it certainly isn’t rocket science. If you believe in the resurrection, it’s really pretty simple. It’s just a matter of stopping long enough to hear the word that the Lord speaks – “I say to you, rise!”

And then, of course, with God’s help, you have to get up – and live.

2007?!?

2007-01-02T08:49:00.000-05:00

I'm getting old - it seems like only yesterday we actually stayed up until midnight to watch the ball drop (although even then I often wondered why.) Now, my husband went to bed early in one house while I stayed up until midnight in another as caregiver to my frail parent. It feels right, though. And good. Somehow being able to be there for my parent honors both the parent who went on before into the church triumphant and the parent left behind to slog it out in the church militant. And somehow it does, in fact, honor God.

On the other hand, it kicks the @#*@*@* out of my body. I begin to understand Isaiah 40:28-31 from the inside out. I have used "those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength" in countless funerals, celebrating God's empowering gift of the Spirit for families struggling to keep their heads above the water. I find now that the only way to stay above the water that seems to keep rising is to float on God's eagle wings.

And to laugh! Where's The Far Side when I really need it?

Friday Five - Shopping? Christmas??

2006-11-25T06:56:00.000-05:00

So this is a "Black Friday" Five (aka Buy Nothing Day) in honor of the busiest shopping day of the year:

1. Would you ever/have you ever stood in line for something--tickets, good deals on electronics, Tickle Me Elmo?
I stood in line to get in to the Vatican one very rainy January day. Got run over by elderly Italian ladies with large purses and larger umbrellas. Worth it, though.

2. Do you enjoy shopping as a recreational activity?
Shopping has its moments. I prefer to think of it as occasional retail therapy, rather than a recreational activity. But for shopping to be therapeutic, one needs to distinguish between "shopping" and "buying." Shopping is an exercise in imagination and a displacement of anger, irritation and angst upon an inanimate object. Buying exercises the credit cards - in my case, they're already buff.

3. Your favorite place to browse without necessarily buying anything.
I love Pier 1, Williams-Sonoma, Trader Joe's.

4. Gift cards: handy gifts for the loved one who has everything, or cold impersonal symbol of all that is wrong in our culture?
Neither (please - do gift cards have to be symbolic of laziness or lack of caring?) How about this - gift cards are a supplement so that teenagers can get what they want from the store where you want them to buy.

5. Discuss the spiritual and theological issues inherent in people coming to blows over a
Playstation 3.
No clue. The closest I ever came was a five day crawl through the malls of Los Angeles looking for the right Cabbage Patch doll (that dates me :)) In the end, we settled for a different doll and years of therapy.

Friday Five - Giving Thanks

2006-11-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving this year will be different. My dad died last week. Not that we've always had Thanksgiving together - far from it. But I always knew that somewhere, Dad was eating turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie - no giblets, that would be gross. So I'm taking seriously this year the biblical admonition to give thanks in all things, even in the death of a much loved and loving parent. What am I thankful for this year? Here goes -

1. I'm thankful for my dad, for all the years of his life, for his love, for his care, for his bad jokes, for his sweaters worn for way too many years, for his daily 7am phone calls, for his self-appointed family position as first responder.

2. I'm thankful for the gift of life, made more precious by the presence of death.

3. I'm thankful for the gift of my family - even when they drive me nuts.

4. I'm thankful for the gift of my family of faith - even when they drive me nuts.

5. I'm thankful for the gift of faith. I'm thankful that even such faith as mine, too often the size of mustard seed - was enough that I could stand at my father's casket and say with truth - I believe.

Friday Five 11-10

2006-11-10T21:13:00.000-05:00

Those of us who are in the United States have just been through quite a topsy-turvy election. During the campaign we heard a fair amount about red states and blue states, when in fact most of us live in some shade of purple. And so... a lighter look at those confounding colors:

1. Favorite red food
strawberry shortcake - hands down

2. Tell us about the bluest body of water you've ever seen in person.
the Pacific Ocean off Point Dume - the sky and the sea are so blue it almost hurts

3. It's movie rental time: Blue Planet, The Color Purple, or Crimson Tide?
Crimson Tide - very, very hot (can I say red-hot?)

4. What has you seeing red these days?
must remain calm, must remain calm

5. What or who picks you up when you're feeling blue?
a good brainless novel
a great walk on the towpaths
my handsome, irresistible world's nicest guy
and not necessarily - or even possibly - in that order

pastoral care from the other side of the bed

2006-11-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

Have been absent from the blogosphere due to a blessed wedding - our gorgeous daughter was married to the world's second nicest guy (in line right after her handsome and irresistable father.) What a wonderful, glorious day - worth every effort and every penny expended.

Have been absent also due to the great sadness of my father's very slow and labored passing. He made it to the wedding through an effort of sheer will, but it took pretty much everything he had. His breath is barely there now, and we are in prayer that God will carry him home soon and very soon.

How odd it has been to experience pastoral care from the other side of the bed. I've been doing this for a lot of years now - I had forgotten what it was to receive care rather than give it. Staunch Reformed theologian that I am, lifelong Presbyterian, child of two Presbyterian elders, and Scots to boot, my father is dying in a wonderful, lovely Catholic-to-the-core hospital, tended by a Catholic hospice organization and a core of Catholic doctors. He has been anointed, incensed (the smelly kind, not the emotional sort), blessed and re-blessed, and prayed for well and thoroughly. It's been good overall - wonderful caring people who are sincere and humble in their prayer ministry to my father.

I just wish the nuns wouldn't talk so much. I appreciate now more than ever the wisdom of all those pastoral care books that said "less is definitely more" when standing by the bed of a dying person. To listen to his breath coming more slowly all the time is to experience the blessing of God's own breath, the Holy Spirit present and softly weaving my father into the fabric of the church triumphant. To sit and be anointed by the Spirit of peace and comfort in that room in the silence is enough, at least for me now in this time and place.

To all those who will sit this day, this week, this year, with a family like mine, I give my heartfelt thanks and blessing and one tiny whisper of a thought - "Shhhh....."

Letting the Sermon Go.......

2006-10-26T08:48:00.000-04:00

I've started publishing my sermons - on the church website and on my own sermon blog - www.nine-oclock.blogspot.com. All the church's pastors before me - all 2.5 of them (another long and boring story) - have provided written copies of their sermons on Sunday mornings. I hate that - and I've resisted it for a long, long time. It always feels so cut and dried to me - devoid of body language and the human emotion present in the spoken word. But.....I have a number of web savvy seniors who are housebound, but highly mobile in the internet world. So I made a deal with them. I would post the sermons on the church website and if they really wanted a written copy, they could get it and print it themselves.

I've been amazed at the response. If that sermon isn't up on the web by 8am Monday morning, I start getting the e-mails. And this isn't just from the housebound folks. Quite a number of people who are present in worship on Sunday morning download the sermon and read it again. Who knew? Personally, I can't imagine doing that - but obviously, we have a bunch of visual learners in the crowd.

So - this past summer, I decided to try another experiment as an outreach to the marginally connected members and friends of my church. As a manuscript preacher, who writes the manuscript then preaches without it, I started e-mailing the manuscript to the housebound and vacation bound members who I was pretty sure would be worshipping God in absentia.

Again - amazing response. I struggle with whether I am enabling folks to stay home and worship at the church of the holy pillow. We are a completely handicap accessible church - so sometimes I think that my electronic outreach is counterproductive to the growth of the body of Christ on our corner of the road.

But prompted by a 20-something beloved child, I'm beginning to think that the church of the future will have to look and feel a lot different. Beloved child tells me that for his generation virtual community is not significantly different than actual community - so perhaps with chat rooms, instant messaging and computer video conferencing - the virtual church of the future will be one more manifestation of the body of Christ in our midst.

I'm still not quite sure how the electronic virtual kiss of Christian love works though.

2006-10-24T03:24:00.000-04:00

The Psalmist writes: "...in the beauty of holiness have I begotten you, like dew from the womb of the morning."

Such love God has for each of us...and such a gift for each day of living. As I walk through the hospital corridors and nursing home rec rooms, as I weep with families whose daughters find themselves fat and ugly, whose sons make incredibly bad choices in order to be cool, I pray that on that day, in God's good time, each of us shall know that we are precious to God and loved just as we are. Perhaps when Jesus went out in the cool of the dawn, it was to walk barefoot through the dew and to remember that, no matter how ugly it got, God had begotten him in the beauty of holiness...

2006-10-18T06:28:00.000-04:00

Do you suppose God hears the prayer of the blogger? I wonder - because I am most often moved to pray in this space. I am challenged in my prayer life by the wanderings of my often overloaded (not with heavy thoughts, trust me!) brain. But here in this space I seem more able to focus, to bend my mind toward God. As a person journeying in the Reformed tradition, I believe in this inner calling, that somehow the Spirit of God is reaching out to touch my spirit. And I affirm the outward calling of my sisters in ministry, that God's Spirit present in the church is ministering to me through them and calling me to share my gifts with them. So perhaps the desire to pray here in this space is legitimate and somehow holy. Of course, if reaching out toward God - praying, indeed - is somehow theology, as that obscure Swiss theologian Karl Barth seems to suggest - than perhaps all life is prayer. We do believe that all life, broken and disordered as it surely is, is in one way or another reaching out toward God, right?

Or maybe it's too early in the morning after too late a night for coherent theology, prayer, or thought:)

2006-10-11T08:11:00.000-04:00

Here' what a "normal" day looks like:

Wake up and

exercise or
feel guilty about not exercising

Pray and

feel guilty that I'm not being "productive or

Be productive and

feel guilty that I'm not praying

Eat and

run out the door leaving the dishes or
feel guilty about taking the time to clean things up

Get to the office and

spend time on paperwork and phone calls and feel guilty about pastoral calls or
make pastoral calls and feel guilty about the paperwork and phone calls

Shoehorn in time for the family and

feel guilty about work left undone or

Work late and get most of it finished and

feel guilty about time for the family.

It's not time management that's the problem, it's guilt management.

A dear friend gave me a coffee mug from the Garrison Keillor Lake Wobegon series with a picture of the Lake Wobegon church named "Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility." My friend knows me well.

Another friend warns against the "General Manager of the Universe" syndrome - she suffers from it, too.

Isn't great that we worship a God who desires to carry our burdens - who admonishes us to be still and know that God is capable of more than we can even begin to imagine? It's a day-by-day struggle for me - but with God's help, I think - think - think - I'm making progress.

2006-10-07T06:09:00.000-04:00

"I will both lie down and sleep in peace; for you alone, O Lord, make me lie down in safety." Ps. 8:8

One dying, one dead, one drinking himself to death, one starving herself to death, one wishing that death would come like an old friend slipping into his room, one barricading the door against the intruder. So many needs, O Lord, so much pain and brokenness. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for holding it all in your hands. Thank you, Shepherd of Israel, for standing watch through the night. Let me be like the psalmist. Let me lie down and sleep in the peace of resurrection faith. O Lord, make me like down in safety and rise to the glory of dawn. Amen.

2006-10-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

I am a lamb of God.
I have no idea where I am going.
I have no idea what I will find when I get there.
I trust that God will lead me through the valleys
to the mountaintop,
But I have no idea what that journey will look
like.
I trust that the Good Shepherd will lead me to
green pastures and still waters.
I trust that the Good Shepherd will find me rest.
I am a lamb of God.

2006-09-27T07:10:00.000-04:00

I am giving serious consideration this morning to the place of coffee in the life of a Presbyterian minister. What is it they call it - Presbyterian holy water?

Some questions for Wednesday - the day when Sunday becomes a reality:

Can I write a sermon this week?
Can I write a sermon without coffee?
Why would I want to try? :)

Some of life's greatest pleasures:

The smell of coffee beans as they are grinding
The sound of that first spurt of water as the coffee begins to brew
The first sip of black gold on a chilly autumn morning
Watching the sun come up as the steam rises from my mug

What a thrill- and a vindication - to read that scientists/nutritionists now believe that coffee is good for me! Take that, all you virtuous health nuts!

2006-09-25T08:06:00.000-04:00

It's no longer OK to claim that I will get started tomorrow. The plan is to get started today.

So I rolled out of a warm bed at 5:30, laced up the shoes, snapped the leash on the dog (stuffing several plastic bags in my pockets for the inevitable doggy gifts) and headed out the door. It's dark at 5:45, and the stars are still out and no one else is out at all.

As I power walked through the neighboring college campus, I got started.

I prayed - for all the elders and deacons who were absent from worship yesterday, for all the young parents who took their children to soccer rather than Sunday School, for all the elderly who are staying home until they get their flu shots. I prayed that God was blessing their morning wherever they were with the eyes to see the presence of the Lord all around them, and the hearts to give thanks in all things.

I prayed, giving thanks for the beauty of the morning, wishing I had the nerve to awaken the dawn as I walked past silent sleeping college dorm rooms, but remembering how much I had needed that sleep when I was a student. And I gave thanks for the blessings that came my way yesterday in worship - the joy of seeing so many new faces in the sanctuary, the gift of so many new faces that came in so many different colors, the gift of my husband's thumbs-up after my sermon.

It's no longer OK to claim that I will get started tomorrow. I'm starting today and counting my blessings one by one.

2006-09-18T10:01:00.000-04:00

Living into the "priesthood of all believers" is really tough. Especially when it comes to the physical stewardship of church properties and functions. Volunteers are a blessing and a curse. A blessing because volunteer labor allows us not only to accomplish so much more in the name of God than we could otherwise, but because the opportunity to volunteer is also the opportunity to grow in Christian discipleship. A curse because it strikes me that over and over again, we allow people to volunteer for tasks we know they will not complete and then we get angry and disappointed when they live up to our expectations.

Sometimes it makes one long for the money to hire these things out!

2006-09-15T09:03:00.000-04:00

1. Tell us about a time...
The fam was in Rome waiting in line for the Vatican museums to open. The boy suddenly realized that something was happening and that he wanted to be part of it. Resisting all attempts by forceful Italian grandmothers to dislodge him with their suitcase size purses and sharp elbows, he claimed a spot at the curb and refused to move. We joined him and waited. And so glad we did. Pope John Paul rode past in the Popemobile not three feet away. An amazing experience of holiness on wheels. Both men in the family were overcome with tears - I've never quite felt that before.

2. Tell us about a celebrity....
I'd like to meet the racehorse Barbaro and his people. Someone once said that there's nothing better for the inside of a (wo)man than the outside of a horse. I think the inside of this horse and his people is pretty amazing too. Tremendous spirit, huge heart, and courage in spades.

3. Tell us about someone great...
Everyone should have a chance to meet my husband. He is the world's nicest guy, the greatest dad and the best life partner anyone could ever ask for. That sappy song, /The Wind Beneath My Wings/ doesn't even begin to express it. I don't know how women who aren't married to my husband do the work asked of pastors. Too bad - he's mine ;)

4. Do I collect....
Nope, no autographs or other collections. Not enough patience, I'm afraid.

5. If I were to become famous....
I'd like to be famous for proving the NY Times article about the stained glass ceiling wrong. In fact, I'd really like to be famous for that.

bonus round:
No question about this one. Joel Osteen's fifteen minutes are up. Now will someone please tell him!

2006-09-15T03:27:00.000-04:00

Lord, you have always given
Bread for the coming day
And though I am poor,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always given
Strength for the coming day
And though I am weak,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always given
Peace for the coming day
And though I am of anxious heart,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always given
Me safe in trials
And now tried as I am ,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always marked
The road for the coming day
And though it may be hidden,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always lightened
This darkness of mine
And though the night is here,
Today I believe

Lord, you have always spoken
When the time is ripe
And though You be silent now,
Today I believe
(Celtic Daily Office)

2006-09-14T05:57:00.000-04:00

'Now therefore why are you putting God to the test by placing on the neck of the disciples a yoke that neither our ancestors nor we have been able to bear? On the contrary, we believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, just as they will.'  Acts 15:10-11

My prayer for this day is that I would remember throughout it that the grace of God is sufficient and effective, where I am not.  I pray that I would be reminded that the work of salvation is God's work and that through the Holy Spirit I have been graciously invited to participate - graciously because in no way do I merit the privilege.  I pray that God would create in me a heart renewed, open always to the giftedness of those around me.  And I pray that Christ Jesus would live in me this day, that I might reflect the mercy and compassion and understanding of the Lord into the world.

2006-09-13T07:04:00.000-04:00

My father used to say "Red sun in the morning, sailors take warning." The sky over the trees was a glorious red this morning. Perhaps it will rain. We could use it. It doesn't seem a warning to me, though, but more a proclamation that the Lord reigns. Thanks be to God that each morning provides new evidence that God continues to hold creation in the palm of God's hand.

2006-09-11T17:37:00.000-04:00

"Be still and know that I am God." Very hard work. Peace and quiet, very hard to find. Can women pastors keep Sabbath? Is it true that a woman's work is never done?

2006-09-11T08:56:00.000-04:00

2006-09-11T08:48:00.000-04:00

Monday morning trying to get started and join the blog generation. Who knows? It feels a little like writing into a black hole.